So how did we come to this?
Australia – richly diverse in culture, fiercely egalitarian. The crown of the Southern Hemisphere, and envy of developed countries the world over. To be lucky enough to call Australia home was once a righteous source of deep and abiding gratitude, which spilled over into our human interactions and expressed itself with simple, soaring eloquence, embodied in concepts like ‘mateship’ and ‘a fair go’.
What went wrong? How did we get so cynical? So Selfish? So pig-humping mean? So abysmally backward, distrustful, petty and ignorant? How did we allow our national identity to get hijacked by the base, opportunistic, slime-ball ploys of the most weak and morally bereft elected officials in our country’s short history? How high we once aspired to is only overshadowed by how far and rapidly we have descended. The ‘Eternity’ once lovingly scrawled in chalk on our footpaths has been washed away by the sour odour and dull stain of piss.
In four weeks we face the most bleak federal election in living memory, if not of all time. On offer; the largest collection of soulless intellectual cripples it is possible to assemble in the one place without creating a singularity of stupid, capable of rending the very fabric of existence. Both major parties differ only in the quality, not the quantity of ineptitude they offer the electorate, and irrespective of the outcome, the net result will be a hobbling of Australia’s interests and reputation.
Our choice, if such a word can be used without triggering gastro-intestinal repercussions, lies between a party of bumbling incompetents, headed by a wingnut whose tenuous grasp of sanity is outdone only by his complete lack of comprehension of how government works, versus a party that no longer has a fucking clue what it stands for, or whose interests it was created to represent. The leader of the latter, in the space of under a month has managed to backflip on every single issue she was mandated to act on. Her complete lack of leadership ability is roughly on par with that of algae. In the wings lie the Greens, who are utterly unable to recast themselves as anything but a protest party, and will fail miserably to capitalise on voter resentment by continuing to campaign on whale hugging issues, instead of engaging on the key areas of economics and foreign policy – the areas that would actually draw in fresh, genuine support from the voter base they most need to reach if they are ever to grow out of the image of soap-shy, incense burning potheads who want to have gay sex with trees.
It’s a non choice. A farce. The only thing that has kept me from complete despair is an ever growing, seething anger that is as close to hatred as I have ever experienced.
I want to pump pepper spray into the lower house, then while these privileged, spineless human failures are doubled over, crying, pissing and vomiting on themselves, send in every first and second generation immigrant with a pair of football boots to kick the living shit out of them. Then, and only then, will they be in any way qualified to discuss refugees.
I want to load them, and their children, and their grandchildren up with so much debt they can’t buy a chocolate bar on credit. Then we’ll talk about taxing the mining industry.
I want to pump raw sewage into their water, and sulphur into their houses so they may gain some qualification to discuss climate change and the concept of sustainable fucking population.
While we’re at it, repossess their houses and withhold their salary – to dole out as is seen fit by some faceless bureaucrat. Then we’ll talk about indigenous communities.
There is almost no limit to my disdain, my disgust with this crop of pathetic failures. These people aren’t leaders. They are criminally negligent at best, seditious at worst. They are turning us into a bunch of ugly backwoods punks, and I am not proud. I am not happy.
This is not the Australia I grew up in, and be damned if it will be the Australia my children grow up in. Either we rediscover what made this a wonderful place, or I’m moving overseas. I have a feeling I will be going with the latter, and that it will happen before the next black joke they call an election.